Black Children Abroad

Positive Parenting While Home & Abroad

I’m the mother to a toddler.
She just turned two and is most definitely a two-anger.
She has become outraged at the slightly thing.
If I don’t pick her up or she is hungry or tired, she can start throwing things on the floor or crying hysterically.

Old school Black parenting teaches us spare the rod, soil the child.

Positive Parenting While Home & Abroad

Well, I fundamentally reject that idea.

Yes, my 2 year old does act a hot mess sometimes and yes, it drives me crazy.

Positive Parenting While Home & Abroad

But guess what, she is two and trying to figure it all out and as her guide in this thing called life, my responsibility is to help her figure it out – not beat it out of her.

The reality is that I am the adult and instead of modeling her behavior and losing my shit when she loses hers. Also I embrace positive parenting.

Sometimes that means allowing her to scream until she is able to calm herself down.

Positive Parenting While Home & Abroad

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT IN TRYING TO REASON WITH AN IRRATE TODDLER. Much the same way there is no point trying to reason with an irate adult.

For close to 2 years, the world has revolved around her as it should for babies. And now, she is discovering that it is not always that way. And this discovery is hard.

Change is difficult for the most mature adult . So imagine what it is like for a child who has no frame of reference except. That to get their needs met, they typically need to scream or shout.

I let her work through her emotions. Sometimes, this involves telling her to sit in a chair until she is able to calm herself down. Sometimes it takes her upwards of 15-20 minutes to calm down. Then I tell her what Mommy didn’t like in language she can understand. Also using simple words and an expressive face. I also tell her what behavior Mommy likes and why and what she should do next time she feels. The way she did right before the outburst. I guide her to what are acceptable ways to let out her frustration and anger. ‘Cause let’s face it, we all get angry. Then we hug and go about our day.